Just mind your own business

 

via Giphy

It seems like everywhere you turn, someone is being mom-shamed.  Whether it’s Jessica Simpson for posting a picture of her daughter in a bikini on Instagram, or the mom down the road for getting her kid a happy meal for dinner, mom shaming is rampant and real.

Mom Shamer examples:
You took your 8 year old to a PG-13 movie??
You let your children use electronics when they are out to eat??
You let your kid eat happy meals/cereal/ice cream for dinner??
You let your kid have (insert sugary beverage) kool aid, juice, soda??
You pack your child a Lunchable for his school lunch??
You let your child sleep in your bed??
You let your kids stay up until 10pm??
You spank your child??

Before you judge someone, ask yourself this question:  Is anyone in imminent danger?   If the answer is no, then mind your own business!

I know my kid better than you.

Maybe I let him play the ipad at the restaurant because that was his reward for getting 100 on his math test.
Maybe he’s eating a happy meal for dinner because it’s his birthday and that’s what he chose.
Maybe he drinks juice because that’s the only way he will consume fruit.
Maybe he sleeps in my bed because he has night terrors.
Maybe he goes to bed at 10pm because his dad works the night shift and doesn’t get home until 9:30.

OR… maybe I don’t have any “good” reason at all.  Maybe I let my kid eat a happy meal for dinner because I think it’s OK to have a happy meal every once in a while.  Or maybe it’s because I just didn’t have time to make dinner.  Maybe I let him drink juice because he likes it.  Maybe I let him play his ipad when we’re out to dinner because it keeps him quiet and makes a more enjoyable evening for all of us.  Maybe I let him go to bed at 10pm because it has never caused a problem.

It boils down to this:

You don’t know me, you don’t know my life, you don’t know my kid like I do.
I’m in the best position to make decisions about my child.  Not you.

What works for your child and your family may not work for mine.
We are all individuals and there is not a one size fits all solution to parenting.

No one is a parenting expert.  Not me, not you.   Your way is not better or more righteous than mine.  My way is not better or more righteous than yours.

If your child is happy, healthy, and well adjusted, keep doing what you’re doing. Let your child sleep in your bed, have kool aid at dinner and stay up until 10pm.
Why?  Because it’s working.  It’s working for you, for him, and for your family.

We don’t have to agree on parenting strategies.  We don’t have to agree on screen time or bedtimes or how we discipline our children.  You do it your way, and I’ll do it mine.  It’s OK to take different paths.

Parenting is hard.  The last thing we need is judgment.  Let’s support each other.  Let’s lift one another up instead of tearing one another down.

–K

P.S.  And mind your own business!

17 Replies to “Just mind your own business”

  1. Absolutely true…how sad it is to shame one another on a regular basis today it’s awful! Hopefully, we can start sprinkling kindness around, mind the business

  2. I agree with what you said. I find I am guilty of some of those things “You give your 4 year old coffee?!” sometimes, but I’m working on it! You definitely have to be conscious of doing it if you are going to stop so that’s step 1! I should clarify, I never actually SAY anything to anyone! It is definitely their life/family/kids. But I do think some of these things and that’s what I’m working on getting better at!

    Good article.

    1. We’re all guilty of it! And I’d be thinking the same thing if I saw a 4 year old drinking coffee! But you’re right, being conscious of it is the first step in the right direction! And having an opinion is fine, we just don’t always need to share that opinion at the expense of others.

  3. Oh I love this post. I agree with you 100%. Since everyone has access to the internet. The first thing they type is judgment. Especially for parents

I love a good comment!